The Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce

Like most of life, divorce is a process and not an event, a journey and not a destination, a normative road taken by approximately half of all first married couples (though not taken by the other half), and also taken by a somewhat higher percentage of subsequently married couples. A road no less travelled by, a road filled with speed bumps and potholes, hair pin turns and flat out straight aways, with all the back seat drivers yelling “are we there yet” even though none of them know where they are going and fewer know where they’ve been. Some might even call it a road to nowhere, or as Yogi said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”

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An Adult’s Guide to Dating the Second Time Around

An Adult’s Guide to Dating the Second Time Around

The Post Conscious Uncoupling Conscious Re-coupling Transition

“…. but I was so much older then.
I’m younger than that, now.”
— Bob Dylan
— My Back Pages

OK now. You’ve uncoupled, consciously or not, paid your attorneys, filed your papers, re-mortgaged your house, complained to all your friends, had the necessary pity party, gone on your Club Med vacation to recharge your battery, made a complete fool of yourself before your children and work colleagues, sworn off ever getting married again, and watched more reruns of House than any one individual should be subjected to in multiple lifetimes. What else might you do on Saturday nights for the rest of your life? Maybe, go on a date?

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Doing “Bowen”
Turning Theory into Practice

Doing “Bowen”<br>Turning Theory into Practice

“There’s nothing so practical
as a good theory”
— Kurt Lewin

We all carry unresolved problems from past life cycle stages with us, into our current situations. At times of family life-cycle transitions and unexpected crises, conflict and dysregulation arise. Questions about how best to respond include: (1) What can you do to help resolve the conflict, reduce stress and anxiety, improve communication, and promote active problem solving and healing? (2) How do you maintain both your autonomy and the connections with emotionally important people in your life? (3) Which behaviors will help make things better no matter what anyone else does? and (4) How do you deal with differences without loosing connection?

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A Time to Die and a Time to Mourn

A Time to Die and a Time to Mourn

Death & The Family Life Cycle

The heart of the wise
is in the house of mourning
— Kohelet 7:4

While taxes may be avoidable, depending on the skill and daring of your accountant and tax attorney, death is not. Yet it remains, ahead of even sex and money, the subject people most avoid talking about. Few of us are prepared for the “emotional shock wave” that reverberates throughout the extended family system when confronted with the inescapability of the loss of our loved one’s physical presence.

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Family Palliative Care

Family Palliative Care

When a family member develops a serious, chronic or potentially life-shortening illness or disability, the entire family system. When death becomes imminent and/or inevitable, additional issues arise around anticipatory grief, mourning and bereavement. The integrity of the family is shattered, roles must be restructured and reassigned and the rules of daily living adapted to ever-changing circumstances.

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Whose Divorce is it Anyway?

Whose Divorce is it Anyway?

If we have her marriage and his marriage, or her marriage and her marriage, or his marriage and his marriage, then surely we must have some combination of his divorce and her divorce. No-fault divorce laws notwithstanding, if the partners were effectively unequal before and during the marriage, it would be folly to expect them to be equal at the time of and subsequent to the end of the marriage. If every marriage is two marriages, then every divorce process has multiple components, ‘hers’, ‘his’, ‘theirs’ and everybody else’s.

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The Power and Value of Rituals

The Power and Value of Rituals

Well it’s that time of year again, home for the holidays with all of its attendant joys and sorrows, only this time with the added opportunity to celebrate a once in 70,000-year occurrence (the first day of Hanukah is on Thanksgiving Day!) . Holiday rituals and traditions are potent communicators of family rules, roles and relationship hierarchies. They can be used to enhance fusion and stuck-togetherness, encourage distance and cut-offs, or provide a safe haven and secure base from which to develop a solid self.

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell – The Hidden Life of Family Secrets

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell – The Hidden Life of Family Secrets

What is life like growing up in a family where one of the most firmly adhered to rules is “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”? What do you do with significant information when you are inhibited from sharing it, the road block being either in yourself, in your family relationships, or in larger societal constraints? How is a secret different from healthy privacy, a safe and secure “Room of One’s Own”? When is a secret not a secret?

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The Relational Trauma of Affairs

The Relational Trauma of Affairs

Every End is a New Beginning Do affairs destroy marriages or do troubled marriages lead to affairs? Does an affair create an insurmountable problem or can a marriage be saved after an affair? When thinking systemically, the answer is almost always yes, not either/or but both/and, which leads to a…

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Bowen Family Systems Coaching for the Post-Divorce Couple

Bowen Family Systems Coaching for the Post-Divorce Couple

At some point, for a significant minority of couples, one or both partners conclude that the strategies of acceptance and change no longer work. At that juncture, the goal of living a healthier, happier, more productive life shifts from working to resolve marital difficulties to focusing on a “Good Divorce”….

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Bowen Family Systems Coaching


Bowen Family Systems Coaching with Ronald B Cohen, MD is the treatment of choice for complicated relationship problems and intergenerational conflicts. Include the whole family in resolving and improving what is going on right NOW! When the entire family works to make the difficult journey together, the results are almost magical.
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Why Ronald B Cohen, MD?


If you are experiencing family relationship problems and distress, don’t treat all therapists alike. Look for a Family Therapist who has had specific training, is comfortable with emotional intensity and will offer clear direction to help resolve identified problems. Ronald B. Cohen, MD works with the whole family in a manner that can save you time and be more cost effective than equal doses of individual therapy.
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For Mental Health Professionals


I offer both individual coaching and a consultation group to help facilitate the acquisition and further development of knowledge and expertise in Bowen Family Systems Theory and Coaching for the enhancement of clinical efficacy, productivity and satisfaction. If this is something you want to do professionally, and especially if you have not had significant training and experience in working with family dynamics and relationships, then experiential learning by doing is the best way to go.
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